Have you heard of Dunbar’s Number?
Dunbar’s number is a suggested cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships.
…humans can comfortably maintain only 150 stable relationships.
In other words, after ~150 people our relationships become… fuzzier.
If we continuously move through life creating new relationships, eventually our earlier ones will be forgotten.
Think about that. On Facebook alone, I’ve amassed over 750 connections.
Technically speaking, 75%+ of these people I have very little connection to. At the same time, the majority are there because we met at some point in time and enjoyed interacting. Maybe not a long time, but quality time.
So where’s the balance? How does one continue meeting interesting people without them eventually falling into the void.
Enter, the "Awesome List" ™
I like to think of the Awesome List™ as my ideal 150 people.
They aren’t the people I talk to on a day to day basis.
They aren’t the people I’ve spent the most time with.
They aren’t even necessarily people I feel close to.
They are the people who are a joy to be around.
They are the people who make me think differently.
They are the people who are discovering what they want and moving towards it.
Adjectives of the Awesome:
Awesome is more a gut feeling than an exact science.
But I’ll attempt to lay out the qualities that I appreciate the most.
Thoughtful / Open-Minded
- Having strong opinions, yet interested in learning the views of others.
- Self-aware of their needs and feelings.
- Black-belt empathizers.
- Always questioning their assumptions.
Honest / Genuine
- Having strong boundaries.
- Direct about their wants and desires.
- Put invitations out into the world without expectations.
- Accountable in their relationships with others. (See: Relationship Accountability)
Driven / Inspired
- Having side projects that excite and inspire them.
- Investing time and energy into their interests.
- Take pride in their work.
- Bringing people together to collaborate and create.
Warm / Caring
- Inclusive and welcoming to those around them.
- Excellent listeners.
- Sharing appreciation freely.
- Invest time and energy into the people they care about.
Quirky / Outgoing
- Having a creative side.
- A sense of humor that leaves you LMFAO-ing.
- Welcome the unconventional (eg. onesie foam parties? Let’s do it!).
- Accept invitations enthusiastically.
I maintain this list in an attempt to remember all the awesome people I have met.
One day my monkey brain is inevitably going to run out of space for all the people I’ve met.
By reflecting on the Awesomes, hopefully I can maintain those connections a little bit longer.
💕 Stay awesome 💕
Thanks to Asad @ Chairs & Tables for being awesome and giving feedback on this piece.